So, I promised to write something vaguely sacreligious for Good Friday, but through divine intervention I seem to have lost the list of words suggested to me (I think ‘Zombie’ and ‘Jesus’ figured…)
So, instead, offer the following as a prospective hymn for use by the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I’m a bit too agnostic to be a proper Pastafarian, but I hope the True Believers enjoy this!
When I feel confused and lonely
Like a pirate, all at sea
Then a Noodly Appendage
Reaches down and touches me
And the Great Spaghetti Monster
Shows me just how I should be.
How I’ve always longed to be
Happy, centred, never lonely
Asked the Great Spaghetti Monster
“Holy Pasta, help me see
Thy magnificence. Lead me
With Thy Noodly Appendage!”
But the Noodly Appendage
Never really seemed to be
There to help and comfort me.
At those times I felt so lonely!
I was blind, but now I see!
See the Great Spaghetti Monster!
Merciful Spaghetti Monster,
Wave Thy Noodly Appendage
Help my pirate soul to see
How, through beer, I too can be
Free from Dogma, never lonely,
If Thou watchest over me!
For I know Thou lovest me,
Kind Flying Spaghetti Monster!
How can anyone feel lonely
With Thy Noodly Appendage
Round their shoulders? I shall be
Evermore, for all to see
Whether I’m on land or sea,
Singing how Thou aidest me,
I shall always try to be
True to Thee, Spaghetti Monster!
Kiss Thy Noodly Appendage,
Think of Thee when I am lonely.
I shall be out on the sea
Never lonely: Thou’rt with me!
Show me, Monster, Thy appendage!
Well, thanks for this. Don’t know how I’ve managed to miss such an excellent religion. A little parmesan, butter and garlic with the communion wine?
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