Inspired by phrases shouted by stallholders I passed on my lunch break today. And, um, yes. I got yesterday’s number wrong. I can’t count very well at 2AM! So yesterday’s was 58. This is 57, tomorrow’s’ll be 59. OK?
Come on and take your pick before they’re gone!”
Skint teenagers buy presents for their mums
The Best of ABBA. Burned that very day
But “pirated” means “more to spend on sweets”
Round here you can get plenty for your pound
“Two punnets Spanish cherries for a pound
And these are really lovely juicy ones!
They’re so much better for your kids than sweets.
And by tomorrow they’ll be too far gone.
But they’ll be perfect after tea today.”
The target audience: health conscious mum.
“Three pound, a potted white chrystanthemum!
Or else a bunch of daffs for just a pound
Surprise that special somebody today!
And let her know that she’s your number one
Such quality will very soon be gone
And then you’ll have to go and get her sweets!”
“Four for a pound, for any bag of sweets”
A child expertly wheedles from his mum
Some pocket money. All too soon it’s gone.
He’ll get a lot of sugar for his pound.
Parents like her are the unlucky ones
Cause that E-number high will last all day.
“Fiver your leg of lamb, only today!”
And though her sticky son is full of sweets
(Those weird, fluorescent, toxic looking ones)
and finally a harrassed looking mum
Steps forward, uses up her last five pound
To treat a man she fears will soon be gone.
“Just six to go and when they’ve gone they’ve gone
You will not find a deal like this today
I’ll let you have the lot for twenty pound”
What is he selling? Jackets? Watches? Sweets?
Nobody’s buying. Not even his mum.
The market’s harsh. He’s an unlucky one.
And when the last pound in your purse has gone
You’re not the only one, on market day
Who wishes you still got your sweets from mum.
Tom Juniper Poetry 