Counting fail again. I missed a number yesterday…
This week, I’m doing responses to viral YouTube vids.
Disclaimer: These are FICTIONAL. I am not making any allegation or innuendo about the relationship between Charlie and his brother.
I’ve never really liked that whiny bastard.
The fool is always giving me the finger
Metaphorically, as he is quite a bit
Older than me. And time and time again,
He acts as if my very birth had hurt
His feelings, and the pain was throbbing still.
And in a way I idolise him still:
My older brother – spoilt little bastard
Though he is – I try to put aside the hurt
He causes when he shoves his grubby finger
Between my gums. Again, again, again!
I’m like a horse who’s choking on the bit!
It’s not surprising I should be a bit
Resentful of my brother though I still
Do love him. What’s he got to gain
By torturing me? That sadistic bastard!
And worse, I cannot even point the finger
And tell our parents just how much he’s hurt
Ing me. Because they never see the hurt
Behind my eyes. You’d think they’d be a bit
More sensitive: my mouth is full of finger!
It isn’t normal! Look! It’s in there still!
Why would you film this? Help, you stupid bastards!
Stop laughing now: he’s doing it again!
But wait: in recent weeks I’ve made a gain
In small, white teeth, just sharp enough to hurt
That probing finger. That’ll show the bastard.
I have been practising: last night I bit
Right through my dummy. I’ll keep very still
And wait for the inevitable finger.
Just wait until I clamp down on that finger!
He won’t be quick to try that trick again
Or will he? You would think he’d learn but still
He’s not that bright. Yep, he responds to hurt
By laughing and proclaiming “Charlie bit
Me!” Right: I’ll show the stupid little bastard.
I taste it still, the flavour of his finger.
The silly bastard won’t do that again!
Regret the hurt I’ve caused him? Not one bit!
Tom Juniper Poetry 