Oh all ye faithful, go and wait for Jesus
To take you up to heaven in the rapture
And leave us sinners down on earth below
Because we would not bow down to your god.
We’re fine without you if we’re being honest
Earth with no fundamentalists is heaven!
Today’s the day you’re going to go to heaven.
For long awaited face time with lord Jesus.
I have my doubts about this, to be honest
I can’t see he’ll be overcome with rapture
When you lot knock upon his door, my god!
You couldn’t blame the guy for feeling low.
But what will we be doing here below?
Well, left on earth, we shall make our own heaven
Those won’t be cries of agony: Oh god!
Oh yes, right there! How do you do that? Jesus!
You’ll miss the party, we will writhe in rapture
We’ve got the better bargain, if I’m honest.
For haven’t we been just, and kind, and honest?
And yet you say we must remain below?
For fornicators shall not feel the rapture…
I beg to differ! But have fun in heaven,
You’ll have so much to talk about with Jesus!
I’m sure that he’s a kind and loving god
Although, you think that he’s the sort of god
Who doesn’t want his people to be honest
He just wants everyone to bow to Jesus.
If you won’t join his gang, you’re sent below?
This is the guy who’s waiting up in heaven?
Well, thanks but no thanks. You can keep your rapture.
I don’t think you are going to get your rapture.
I can’t see it myself. If there’s a god
He won’t have set a date to get to heaven
It doesn’t seem like his M.O. But honest
Ly if you’re still here, do not feel low
make your own rapture: Orgasms for Jesus!
Don’t go to heaven to enjoy the rapture!
Call out to Jesus, scream the name of god!
Cause honestly, you’ll have more fun below.
Tom Juniper Poetry 