I did miss my deadline. It wasn’t really my wife’s fault at all.
Apparently, my lovely wife decided to write a sestina on my behalf while I was passed out on the couch clutching a container of noodles from Golden Lee on London Road. She was worried I wouldn’t make my deadline. She actually wrote it this morning, because she is a genius. You should also know that she really was legitimately working with her writing partner, and that she has a pet name for the Rutland Arms. She calls it Pubby.
Working Smarter Not Harder
By Chella Quint
My wife is drunk
She fell asleep
She joined us at the pub
I tried to work
But she is hot
And there’s, my friends, the rub
We ordered grub
As we left, drunk
Delivered late, though hot
For her, asleep,
Food did not work,
My wife passed out post pub
The quiet pub,
There was no trouble,
Getting down to work,
We’d barely drunk,
Three pints, a sleepy
Day outside, quite hot
It was still hot
Inside the pub
Enough to make you sleep
Too cheap for grub
And still not drunk
We carried on with dri… work
We stopped our work,
When my wife, hot,
Quite cheerful and quite drunk,
Came in the pub,
My eyes, I rubbed,
Them. I was not asleep
It’s no great leap,
We’d fucked our work,
For there’s, my friends, the rub,
My wife’s so hot!
I love you, Pubby!
When did I get drunk?
(Moral of the story):
If you have ordered grub don’t fall asleep
Do not get drunk when you have lots of work
It’s not a hot idea to work down’t pub.
Tom Juniper Poetry 