This poem is a response to 2 lines in a friend’s poem which refer to a desire to breed giant mice and spiders and “let them loose in female classrooms”
Bring it, Joe, Bring it.
Also continuing a certain local “creepy poems about fellow poets” trend.
Female Classrooms
He thinks he rules the world and so
He rubs his hands with puerile glee
Retreats into his lab to grow
Huge mice from which the girls will flee
And giant spiders just to scare
The ladies for he likes to see
A woman leap upon a chair
Draw up her skirts and quake and scream
And now his project’s nearly there!
He’ll carry out his little scheme
Within a private school for girls
It’s gonna work just like a dream
Step one of his grand plan unfurls
A writing workshop at the school!
And soon their ponytails and curls
Are bobbing round him. How he’ll fool
them Into thinking that he’s nice!
For now he’s got to keep his cool.
Then suddenly release the mice
He starts to laugh, but then falls quiet
The teacher’s glare is cold as ice
He had expected panic, riot!
Instead he faces calm disdain
He stares them out, but can’t deny it
Mocking glances cause him pain.
He sullenly sets free the spiders:
Lack of screaming once again.
And soon he wishes he could hide as
All his little GM pets
Start slowly crawling up his side as
He begins to get upset
He shrieks and tries to run away
The little girls are taking bets
How long he’ll last. They like to play
This sort of game. He’s on the ground
They wish this happened every day!
He makes a sort of gurgling sound
A lesson learned too late! For no
Remains at all were ever found.
Tom Juniper Poetry 