OK – potential trigger warning here, for that sexual harrassment/assault crossover point.
These are all things that have casually been said to me or in my hearing. Obviously slightly tweaked to make them scan and rhyme, but in no way exaggerated.
The form is a short hymnal measure. It amused me to turn sexist wankers on the street into a hymn.
That blonde one: she looks great!
I wouldn’t mind, you know –
But I would make do with her mate
Until you’d had your go.
You’re such a lovely lass!
There’s no need to be shy:
It’s not my fault your tits and ass
Are easy on the eye.
Assault? For goodness sake!
It’s not as if I’m bent!
I cannot help myself – so take
It as a compliment!
A pretty girl like you
Has no need to be gay:
When you could get a man – it’s true!
I’d have you any day!
Hey darling! (She’s alright
A shame about the bum.)
You doing anything tonight?
OK then: Eat my cum!
Tom Juniper Poetry 