Well it’s the first of April and as always I am participating in National Poetry Writing Month by default.
As it’s the first day of #napowrimo I thought I’d set the tone high, with this cryptobiological query from Poppy.
Where d’you find a mermaid’s bumhole?
Well I really couldn’t say
I have never met a mermaid
(Not to talk to in that way)
But I know a mermaid’s body
Isn’t like mine. I confess
That I cannot be quite certain:
I suppose I’d have to guess…
Every other scaly creature
Has a thing called a cloaca
On their scaly underbelly
And, I swear I’m not a faker:
It’s a hole that things come out of
Things like poo but also wee
If the animal’s a female
That’s where eggs come out, you see
But I’ve never met a mermaid
If I did, I’d not feel right
Asking her about her bumhole:
It just wouldn’t be polite
And if you should meet a mermaid
And a mermaid talks to you
She will have much better manners
Than to ask you how you poo.
Tom Juniper Poetry 