Pushing the upper limits of kid questions, this was the most pressing concern a group of 14 year old girls in rural Derbyshire had for me in my sex ed days. This was more or less the answer I gave.
(Share with younger poetry fans only if you’re ready for a longer conversation afterwards!)
Koalas can contract and transmit chlamydia
Pass it cross-species, it’s possible, too.
But you live in Tibshelf, and it is unlikely
That this sort of thing’s going to happen to you.
Chlamydia’s mostly passed on between humans
By close sexual contact, and sometimes through birth.
It’s easily caught but quite hard to detect, so
A regular screening’s a thing that has worth.
But yes, suppose, in a pinch there’s a chance
A koala could lick you, or wee in your eye
And give you chlamydia. Though it’s more likely
Round here, that you’ll get it from some boring guy.
Why is it that people are so fascinated
By unlikely ways they could catch a disease?
Koalas are not a risk factor in Tibshelf
But condomless sex is. Protect yourselves, please!
Tom Juniper Poetry 