This is a grudge I’ve held ever since I was a temporary teaching assistant in the science department of a secondary school. We are talking circa 2004. I don’t forget.
Dear Mr Khan
It’s fine.
I know it is important that Year Nine
Perceive the difference between
Solution and suspension
And that it’s most easily seen
In instant and filter coffee respectively.
Filter coffee by the way
That I bought to drink when supervising lunchtime detention
That you are meant to do but always dump on me.
Filter coffee that is a luxury
On my humble level two salary
Filter coffee you quite often drink
And no I don’t begrudge it,
Even though you earn much more than me
But Mr Khan, honestly
To pinch the whole packet as a teaching tool
And never stop to think
About replacing it? That’s just not cool.
Dear Mr Khan,
This suspension
Of your rights to my coffee
Would never have been necessary
If you had not thought it would be OK
To grudgingly replace my Tesco Finest Espresso
With a jar
Of
Fucking
Nescafé.
Tom Juniper Poetry 