You say I should have so much more self esteem!
That I do myself down, that I don’t dare to dream.
You wish that I thought, and I know this is true,
As much of myself as yourself thinks of you.
You know that I’m quiet, you think that I’m shy.
You know that I find talking hard, but not why.
You want me to feel that my voice should be heard.
And you wish I’d accept the great honour conferred
By your own good opinion. You think I am great!
And my reticence must be, you reason, self hate.
If I could just have self assurance, like you
There would be no limit to what I could do!
But I never have suffered with low self esteem:
That isn’t the block between me and my dream.
I’m rather reserved in a crowd, this is true,
But in this case it’s not so much me, as it’s you.
My reluctance to talk’s not because I am shy,
(Though a part of me would prefer that to to be why)
I’m not very keen for my voice to be heard:
The truth is much worse. Because you have conferred
My own low opinion on me, well that’s great:
It’s simply more proof of the one I should hate.
I’m quiet and reserved, and that much, yes, is true
But it’s not me I do not have faith in, it’s you.
.
Tom Juniper Poetry 