A true story…
My bosses decided that they should meet monthly
To talk about issues that patients had raised
And also to celebrate excellent practice
And make sure that staff were corrected, or praised.
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
It’s simple, it’s snappy, it’s strong!
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
What could possibly go wrong?
Specifically, they wanted to “Be more inclusive
And make sure that everyone’s treated the same”
But far more important than getting this right was
Ensuring their group had a good snappy name.
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
It’s simple, it’s snappy, it’s strong!
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
What could possibly go wrong?
And so they assembled one day in the boardroom
And I was invited to come along too
“Minority staff must be part of this process
Your voice is important! We’ll listen to you!”
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
It’s simple, it’s snappy, it’s strong!
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
What could possibly go wrong?
And I was just one of a motley collection
Of staff who were ethnic, disabled and queer
But I have to confess, it felt like window dressing
And all of us wondered just why we were here.
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
It’s simple, it’s snappy, it’s strong!
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
What could possibly go wrong?
Whenever we tried to be heard in the meeting
They’d nod and they’d smile, say they valued our thoughts
But what should they be called? This was far more important!
We all rolled our eyes, and we bit back retorts.
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
It’s simple, it’s snappy, it’s strong!
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
What could possibly go wrong?
Then somebody, Pete, I think, made a suggestion
Looking too innocent, he caught my eye.
I saw what he meant, and I smothered a giggle
It probably wouldn’t get through. But we’d try.
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
It’s simple, it’s snappy, it’s strong!
Equality! Diversity! Leadership!
What could possibly go wrong?
Of course, in the end, they ignored us, as usual
And maybe on balance it was just as well
Even so, it was fun when we nearly convinced them
To name their endeavour the EDL…
Tom Juniper Poetry 