Girlfriend: “I’m surprised you haven’t
written a song about Graham Linehan yet”
Me:… OK then.
(To the tune of
The Divine Comedy’s Songs Of Love, better known as the theme from Father Ted.)
Young G. Linehan
He had such plans
We had such hopes
But he, bigoted fool
Resorted to cruel
And transphobic tropes
And now, he tweets day and night
Gets into fights
And on all our nerves
Cos Graham belongs to TERFs
Brave feminist voice
He’s made the right choice
So rational and wise
That’s what his cronies say
But not even they
Believe all his lies
He thinks he is their king
But here’s the thing
He’s merely their serf
Yes Graham belongs to TERFs
“I’m not transphobic, and never have been!”
That word does not mean what you think it means.
He insults, mudslings and blames
Misgenders, deadnames, for all that he’s worth
Graham belongs to TERFs
Fuck you.
(Instrumental)
(Spoken) Graham, I’ve got some questions for you.
We all loved Father Ted, but that was because it was about a self important,
self deluding, sexist conman who believed he was much more
important than he really was.
Do you realise that you’ve become what you set out to mock?
And that fucking trans character in
the IT crowd,
did you really think a straight man reacting violently to the realisation
that his girlfriend was trans was something to laugh about?
And more importantly, Graham,
How DO I beat Beaver Bother?
“I’m not transphobic, and never have been!”
That word does not mean what you think it means.
So he plays their little games
Believes that he reigns when really he serves
Graham belongs to TERFs
The sad mascot of
The TERFs
Tom Juniper Poetry 