I had some help with this one, in the form of my girlfriend serenading me with the chorus yesterday, because reasons. Also it might be upsetting to those with a vivid imagination. If that’s you, maybe give clicking any links a miss.
It’s difficult reading the news in these times
With climate change, Brexit and human rights crimes
You’ll look and you’ll wish that you just had not seen,
And you’ll desperately search for a way to feel clean
But don’t put bleach in your eyes
You’ll have a nasty surprise.
I really must warn ya
You’ll burn out your cornea
So don’t put bleach in your eyes.
The wonders of nature aren’t all very nice
You click on a link and it’s burrowing lice!
Though you crave disinfectant, resist the urge please,
When you read about eye-dwelling tear-drinking bees…
But don’t put bleach in your eyes
It’s not what I would advise
Because I am bettin’ ya
You’ll burn out your retina
So don’t put bleach in your eyes.
And Twitter is full of some terrible takes
“Like “Chemtrails: the REAL danger; climate change: fake!”
“Vaccines cause autism, we know the cure!”
Not being able to see sounds like heaven, I’m sure.
But don’t put bleach in your eyes
It won’t get rid of the lies
It’s worse than a virus
Dissolving your iris
Don’t put bleach in your eyes.
Tom Juniper Poetry 