I really like the title of this, but the poem is more of a stream of consciousness brain dump.
The problem with most sex education is this:
We try to terrify young people into safety:
We show you gruesome close-ups of third stage syphilis.
In-depth descriptions of the agony of childbirth,
The horrible scars from caesarean sections,
And of lost dreams of university.
But even worse, eventual infertility
From repeated Chlamydia infections.
As for HIV, we’re so afraid
You won’t take it seriously
We won’t even tell you about PEP
Even though it could save your life.
Because it’s more complicated than that now.
HIV, detected and treated early, probably won’t kill you, but it’s still something to be feared:
It will be a lifelong condition.
You’ll have to take strong medication
You may find that, over time, your body fat distribution goes a bit weird
And your lifespan will be near-normal,
But it won’t be normal.
You won’t be normal.
Although people living with HIV are perfectly normal, we’re not saying…
It’s just too complicated to explain
So all in all we’d rather you thought of HIV
As the deadly disease it used to be.
We want you safe from this.
We want you scared of this.
And so we place the emphasis on risk.
We tell you
“Don’t have sex, but when you do, make sure you’re using condoms”
We tell you
“Tell your boyfriend no condom, no sex!”
Which might as well be saying “if your boyfriend wears a condom, how can you refuse him?”
We tell you
“Get tested!”
“Get tested!”
“Get tested!”
And then we tell you off for taking risks
When you come to get tested.
We talk about sex in terms of risk
Of sexually transmitted infections.
Of peer pressure.
Of bad decisions after alcohol.
Of unrealistic expectations set up by internet porn.
Of locker room talk, boys trying to measure
Up to some standard of masculinity.
Girls being embarrassed about their virginity.
You know what we NEVER
Dare to tell the kids about?
Sexual pleasure.
We never say
Sex is supposed to feel good.
And, especially if you have a vagina
The be all and end all of sex
Isn’t talking your partner out of putting a potential disease or a baby inside you.
It’s about feeling good. And it’s about sharing those feelings.
It’s not all about having orgasms that send you reeling.
(Although don’t get me wrong, those are pretty appealing.)
And it shouldn’t ever be about doing something because you feel like you’re supposed to.
It’s about feeling close to someone you want to feel close to.
And sometimes it’s about co-creating a lasting bond, too.
Which really won’t work if either person feels forced to
Do anything, anything, that they don’t really want to.
The problem with most sex education
Is that we withhold the most important information.
So raise awareness,
Consensual, enthusiastic, safe-as-possible sex can have life changing consequences.
Sexually Transmitted Affections.
We need to teach the children about them
It’s simply too great a risk not to.
Tom Juniper Poetry 