Audio version (performed by Niamh) here!
Do I look like a bloody health and safety officer to thee?
“A cautionary tale to keep children away
From dangerous waters”?
Fuck off with that shit!
Stop telling your your sons and your daughters
Not to play by the stream, stay away from the lake, ’cause of me!
Some of us round here have got to eat!
You don’t even like the little buggers!
I’ve heard you:
“Stop plaguing my life out!”
“Be quiet! Go sit over there!”
There’s so many running about
I’m sure you’ve got plenty to spare
So no more of this
“Don’t go near old Jenny Greenteeth”
“Don’t play on slippery banks”
“Beware of that pondweed that looks like a meadow”
Tell them to come see the lovely green fairy.
I’ll take them all off your hands.
Tom Juniper Poetry 