A terrifying demon dog who loves to torture humans. With a ridiculously cute name.
He’s a good boy really.
Just a soppy old thing,
Our Kluddle.
We thought, well, alright
This breed has a bad reputation.
But with careful rehabilitation
And a cute name
We’ll uncover his natural affection
And loyalty.
We’re pretty sure there’s affection and loyalty
Somewhere in there.
Of course, he’s a little scamp
Always up to mischief,
Our Kluddle.
He started shape-changing at six months
There we’d be, expecting his cute little fangy face at the door
And suddenly there’s a bat, a frog, a bear, a snake.
I nearly had a heart attack the first time.
Of course, he’s just playing
Doesn’t mean any harm.
Training is going… alright.
We’re pretty sure he’s trying really hard,
Our Kluddle.
But recall is still a bit of a challenge
And the other dog owners get twitchy
When we let him off the lead.
We’ve told them, he’s just being playful
Doesn’t know his own strength.
We’ve had to pay a lot of vet’s bills
And a few cremation fees.
Like all dogs, he can be a stubborn little sod
If he thinks walkies has finished too early
Our Kluddle.
His favourite trick is pretending he’s hurt his leg.
Refusing to move from the spot.
So we have to carry him home.
And then, you’ll laugh when you hear this
He makes himself heavier
And heavier
And heavier
And somehow, you can’t put him down.
You just have to keep going
With this terrible weight.
I tell myself
It’s just his way of saying
How much he enjoys cuddles.
Sometimes I think we’ve taken on too much.
Perhaps we should have adopted
A spaniel, or a golden retriever…
But we wouldn’t be without him now.
We know if we just try a bit harder
He’ll be a good dog one day.
We believe in him.
We know he doesn’t mean to hurt us.
Not really,
Not our Kluddle.
Tom Juniper Poetry 