Apologies for the hiatus, I ran out of prompts. I’ll update as and when requests come in. Today I was asked for a poem about animals being dramatic.
Have you seen the absolute state of this dog?
Listen. So far today he has: broken his heart
Because Tall Male Monkey has gone back to work.
He then lost his mind because Small Female Monkey
(Who just as a sidenote, I plan to kill one day
How dare she usurp my position as Baby!?)
Well, Small Female Monkey picked up his best tennis ball
Then, true to form, she attempted to eat it
And Chuckles McGee here feels VERY ATTACKED.
But then Large Female Monkey, my idol and god
Took him out for a walk and he found a big stick,
And apparently this is a red letter day:
A big stick! How amazing! You absolute fool
Tell me: why are dogs always so overdramatic?
Why can’t they be more like a cat? At least I
Have a sense of decorum, a bit of restraint.
Wait, what’s happening, how can this possibly be?
I cannot believe what’s in front my eyes:
MY FOOD BOWL IS NOW LESS THAN THREE QUARTERS FULL!
This cannot be countenanced. I’m being oppressed!
And thus, of neglect and starvation, I die.
(And that fool of a dog really needs to calm down).
Tom Juniper Poetry 