This is the first part of what I suspect will be a triptych. I have too many feelings about this youth group to get it into one poem, or, indeed, a tight verse form.
When I started working in sexual health promotion
I was asked
If I could work Wednesday nights
Run a youth group for LGB kids.
I said yeah, alright
The first thing I did
Was to add a last minute T to the poster.
My boss wasn’t sure about this.
Did trans young people really need
The same support as normal LGB young people did?
Back then, neither one of us knew the word cis.
But I stuck to my plans
And as it transpired
A lot of the kids needing help were actually trans.
Because if you’re told that you’re wrong
At school and at home, that you don’t belong.
If your actual mother tells you
That if this trans thing is true
You will never really be loved
Well,
When somebody promises love
Or at least affection
At least sex…
You don’t ask too many questions.
And with sex, questions, and the right to ask them is vital.
And if you’re raised to not feel entitled
To safety, you just do without it.
And that’s what the group was really about, it
Might have seemed like all we were doing
Was watching queer films, discussing this week’s Doctor Who,
Sometimes if I’d managed to scrounge the materials,
doing queer themed craft projects too.
We had no budget
So when it came to keeping teenagers
Entertained
I often had to fudge it.
But
We talked about difficult conversations
Sexual histories
Regular STI tests
Condom negotiation
Consent, and their right to refuse.
That queer sex was great, but no sex should ever make you feel used.
(Unless feeling used is your kink.
I think we talked about that too.)
And all this on the NHS!
A holistic, if shoestring, approach to sexual well being!
We did our best.
And on some days we felt like we might even win.
Then the Tories got in.
Tom Juniper Poetry 